


Threesome or How Hotch Knocked Up Two Agents

by Jekkah



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Pregnancy, Sex, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-19 02:56:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3593760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jekkah/pseuds/Jekkah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't know where this came from.  Yes, there's a threesome, but ultimately, it is JJ/Hotch.  Based on the fact that JLH and AJ Cook are both pregnant, but ignoring Kate's pregnancy reveal on the show and the fact that they don't have the same due dates.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

“Have you ever had a threesome?”

“Wh- what?” Kate sputtered, nearly spitting her margarita across the table. “JJ, you're drunk.”

JJ rolled her eyes and pointed to her half-finished wineglass. “I've had one and a half glasses of wine. That's nowhere near enough to get me drunk.” She leaned forward. “I'm just trying to get to know you better.”

Frowning, Kate countered, “And you couldn't have started off with my favorite color?”

“Red.” JJ laughed when Kate shot her a look. “I am a profiler. So, tell me, have you ever had a threesome?”

“No!” she replied, indignantly. Kate took a sip. “Have- have you?”

JJ licked her lips and nodded. “Oh, yes. A few times. Not with Will, though,” JJ clarified, though Kate hadn't expressed any curiosity. “He's asked a couple of times, but I don't know; I'm just not interested in having one with him.”

Kate nodded, absently. She focused her eyes on the rest of the bar, hoping to appear nonchalant, even as her brain raced a million miles a minute. She sighed when she realized that JJ was watching her. “What kind of threesomes?”

“You mean like was it two women and one man, two men and me, or three women?” Kate's eyes widened. “I haven't been with all women, although Emily – she was here before Blake – used to try to bring me into her affair with Erin Strauss. Did you know her?”

“Yes!” Kate shouted. “I didn't know she was having an affair with an agent in the BAU.”

JJ shrugged. “Actually, she had two: with Emily and with Rossi. And her and Reid had this weird night once at one of Morgan's poker games that got out of control, but we were never quite clear on what exactly happened. And she and Hotch had this weird chemistry at times, but I think that was more on her side. I know for certain that they never slept together.”

Kate put her elbows on the table. “How do you know?”

“Because I asked him.” JJ took a sip of her wine. “And I always know when Hotch is lying.”

“Speaking of weird chemistry,” Kate muttered. She waved off JJ's questioning look. “So, which kind of threesome have you had?”

Waggling her eyebrows, JJ shivered. “Both with two women and one man and with two men and just me.”

Kate ran her fingers across the exposed skin of her chest. “Anyone I know?”

“Oh, yeah. Once with Hotch, Jordan Todd – she was the woman that took over for me while I was on maternity leave with Henry, and me; once with Hotch, Ashley Seaver – she was the woman who joined the team right after I left for a year, and me; twice with Hotch, Rossi, and me; and a few times with Hotch, his ex-now-deceased-wife, and me.”

“J-J,” Kate drew out as she reviewed JJ's list, “all of your threesomes have involved Hotch.”

JJ hummed in agreement. “Hotch is very, very good.”

Shifting in her seat as she felt moisture pool between her legs, Kate pushed further, “But why do all of your threesomes involve Hotch?”

“He was the one that got me into them,” JJ stated, plainly. “See, when Rossi first joined the team, there was a bit of friction between him and Hotch.”

“Over what?”

Running circles over the table with her index finger, JJ glanced up through her lashes. “Part of it was do to the differences between how the BAU was run when Rossi and Hotch were first on it together and how it's run now.”

“And the other part?”

“Rossi may have tossed a few leering glances my way that Hotch didn't appreciate.” JJ smirked. “Anyway, Hotch came up with the idea that maybe if we had this threesome that it would create a bond between the three of us and allow any awkwardness to disappear.”

Kate no longer hid her intrigue. “And did it work?”

JJ did a little shimmer as she remembered that first time and how beautifully Hotch and Rossi worked together over her skin. “Oh, yes. Our second time was right after I decided to come back to the BAU. There was this lingering uncomfortableness between the three of us because I went to Rossi before I went to Hotch with the news. It really was just a coincidence; I thought it would be Hotch working late when I stopped, but it was Rossi.”

“What is with you and H-”

“The threesome,” JJ continued, cutting her off, “with Hotch, Jordan, and me was to get him to trust her when she was taking over for me. I did not have a hard time convincing her at all, but that was definitely odd because I was nearly nine months pregnant. It was loads of fun, though.”

Kate swallowed the saliva forming in her mouth. “And you, Hotch, and Seaver? How did that come about?”

Biting her bottom lip, JJ suppressed a giggle. They had certainly “come” a lot that night. “Well, Hotch was a bit concerned that Ashley wasn't fitting in well with the team and asked if I would be willing to help them bond. I think she was a little disappointed that I was there, honestly, but she came around.”

“Okay, but you and Hotch's wife?” Kate questioned. “His wife?”

“Hotch thought it would make Haley less jealous of our working relationship; mine and Hotch's.” JJ made a disdainful face. “It didn't.”

Kate played with the rim of her glass. “How did Hotch talk you into doing any of this in the first place? You don't seem like someone who gets easily enticed into situations and this doesn't seem like Hotch at all.”

JJ shook her head. “It's not. I mean, he's not, someone that would usually do this. I was the one that talked him into it at first. Well, not the threesome, but-” She took a deep breath to stop her rambling. “When I first joined the team, there was some… resistance from Hotch. I thought it had to do with my age and well, the face that I'm a woman.”

“But it didn't?”

“Nope. Turns out that he was majorly attracted to me and felt incredibly guilty about that. Of course, he didn't tell me that until later. So, anyway, I had this real close call with an unsub, like a real close call. I though Hotch was angry with me for putting myself in the situation, but he was actually terrified for me. I went and I told him that we should have sex to get everything out in the open and as a way to connect. The bottle of whiskey that we shared probably aided in the decision.”

Reaching across the table, Kate grabbed JJ's hands. “JJ, do you have feelings for Hotch?”

Closing her eyes, briefly, JJ was unable to look directly at Kate when she opened them back up. “I love him; I'm in love with him. But our timing has never been right. So, we grab what we can with these threesomes, and occasional twosomes, but only under extreme duress.”

“Why are you telling me all of this?” Kate questioned with a gentle voice.

“I don't know.”

Kate's lips curled upward. “Could it maybe be because you're hoping that I'll help you out tonight with Hotch?”

JJ dodged her knowing expression. “Maybe.”

“And maybe the reason that you won't have a threesome with Will is because it's your thing with Hotch?” To this, JJ gave a singe terse nod. Kate sat up straighter. “JJ, you know, I've been on this team for a few months now, but I don't really feel as though Hotch trusts me.”

“What?” JJ's head flew up.

Kate grinned. “You seem to have a good rapport with him. Is there anyway that you can help me 'bond' with Hotch?”

A slick smile appeared across JJ's face. She stood, tossing money down on the table before pulling up Kate by her hands. “Come on. Let's go.”

Giggling, the two skipped from the bar holding hands.


	2. Chapter Two

JJ shushed Kate as they reached Hotch's hotel room. She was extremely grateful that there had been a mix-up with the hotel and that Hotch had been placed on a different floor than the rest of them. It hadn't stopped her in the past, but the smirks from Rossi and Morgan the next day always made her want to slap them. JJ knocked firmly on the door and waited for Hotch to appear.

She didn't have to wait long for him to open the door in his pajamas. Hotch's eyes widened when he took in the two women. “JJ, Kate, is everything okay?”

“it appears that we have a slight issue.” JJ placed her hand on the gray t-shirt covering his rock-hard chest and pushed him inside, bringing Kate along. “It seems as though Kate feels as though you don't really trust her.”

“She does?” Hotch scratched his head, causing chaos with his dark locks.

JJ nodded. “She asked for my help.”

Keeping his eyes on JJ, he asked Kate, “And do you know what that means, Kate?”

“I told her,” JJ confirmed while Kate nodded.

“And you're okay with it?” Hotch pressed.

Kate nearly jumped when she realized he expected her to answer this time. “I am.”

Pursing his lips, a small blush flitted across his cheeks. “I don't- I don't have any condoms.”

“Me, either,” JJ cringed.

Kate held up her hands when they both looked at her. “I don't either. I didn't know this was a possibility.”

“I'm clean,” JJ announced, “and on birth control.”

“Me, too,” Hotch muttered. “Clean, I mean.”

Kate bobbed her head up and down. “Same here: clean and on birth control.”

JJ raised an eyebrow. “So, we're all good?”

“Yes,” Hotch and Kate replied at the same time. Hotch cleared his throat. “So, I guess that just leaves one question: who gets to be in charge?”

“Oh, honey.” JJ patted his cheek. “You should know that I always get to be in charge. Catch.”

JJ leapt into his arms, laughing when he nearly dropped her. She wrapped her legs firmly around his waist, digging her hands into his hair. JJ attacked his mouth with open, wet kisses.

“Kate!” JJ gasped as Hotch broke their kiss to suckle her throat. “Get on the bed and get naked!”

“Yes, ma'am!” Kate toed her shoes and socks off while keep her eyes on JJ and Hotch, who were dry-humping in the middle of the room. She unbuttoned her plum blouse as she walked backwards to the bed. She tossed it aside and got to work removing her pants as well, leaving them beside her bed. Crawling into the middle of the bed, Kate sat against the headboard.

JJ hopped down from Hotch, putting her hands on her hips as she stared Kate down. “I said, 'naked', Callahan. That includes the bra and panties.”

Kate held her hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay.”

“You,” JJ turned to Hotch, running her hands over his shoulders and down his arms, “can strip me.”

“My favorite thing to do.” He wasted no time dragging her red t-shirt over her head and throwing it across the room. He paused to take in her ruby silk bra. Hotch looked into her eyes in wonder. “You're wearing my favorite. You knew you were going to do this when you got up this morning.”

JJ smirked. “I knew that I was going to do this days ago. I just needed the case to be over first.”

Hotch kissed the valley between her breasts. “You're amazing.”

“Hey.” She playfully tapped the top of his head. “You and I have way too many clothes on and we're ignoring Kate.”

“Sorry,” he mumbled in the direction of the bed. Keeping his mouth on JJ's clothed breasts, he unbuttoned her jeans, sending them, and her panties, as far down her legs as he could before removing his mouth. Hotch stepped away to remove the rest of her clothing, including the bra, but carried the bra to the chair almost reverently.

Hotch turned around to JJ sitting on the bed next to Kate. His raised eyebrows sent the blond a question that she responded to with a smile. Hotch removed his own clothing, his cock waving high. He glanced at the women to see Kate's eyes filled with wonder and JJ's with lust.

“Well, sweetheart,” Hotch addressed JJ, “what should I do now?”

Spreading her legs open, JJ bit down on her index finger. “Dig in.”

Hotch bounded onto the bed, grabbing JJ's ankle and yanking until she lay flat on her back. He peppered a trail of kisses, starting at her toes and ending at her hips. He looked up and winked at her before diving into her hot, sweet pool. He licked her in one long stroke while his hands caressed her thighs and abdomen. He darted out to touch her clit once, then twice, before using his tongue to write secret messages across it.

Realizing that there was another person in the room, JJ's hand darted to Kate's thigh. “I – Oh, God! - haven't forgotten – Oh, yes! - about you.” She threw her head back as Hotch hit her favorite spot. JJ struggled for breath. “Cli- climb over my face!”

Kate straddled JJ. “I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do.”

“Hold – oh! - onto the headboard and whatever you do, don't smother me!” JJ ordered. She attached her mouth to Kate's mound, sucking her hard. Running her hands up to Kate's breasts, she kneaded them. “Wow, Ka- Kate! You have the most perfect boobs ever. Hotch, wait until you get your hands on them.” 

Hotch hummed against her center, doubling his efforts to get her off. He slipped three fingers inside of her. That did the trick as within minutes, JJ was mewling out her orgasm. Her tongue slipped from Kate as Hotch sat back, smugly. 

Panting, JJ dumped Kate onto her back. She covered Kate's body with her own, lining their clits together. She thrust, causing Kate to call out her name. She latched onto one of Kate's nipples, causing Kate to scream. Not long after, they both exploded in a fiery passion, yowling to the heavens.

“In her!” JJ heaved, throwing her against the bed. “G-get in her now!”

“Yes, ma'am,” Hotch said, echoing Kate's words from earlier. He scrambled over Kate, pushing into her after a moment's hesitation. Feeling the aftershocks of her orgasm, Hotch hooked his arms under her legs and brought her knees to her chest. He plunged in and out of her, showing no mercy as he raced towards completion.

Rolling on her side, JJ slipped her hands to where they joined, fondling them both. “You guys look so hot. Do you have any idea just how scorching you are together?” She giggled when Hotch shot her a sultry look, unable to answer. “This is even sexier than the time you had Rossi up against the balcony.”

“Ohhhhh, shit!” Kate cried, swept away in her second orgasm of the night.

“Jay-” Hotch grunted. He reached out and grabbed her the back of her head, bringing her face to his. He kissed her, suckling on her tongue. JJ tweaked his nipple and he bucked, emptying into Kate as he finally succumbed to his own climax. Releasing JJ, Hotch flopped between the two women, cradling them to his chest. “Feeling a little more trust now, Kate?”

“Yes,” she laughed. “Definitely.” Kate opened her eyes slightly. “So, what now?”

Nestling into Hotch's neck, JJ used her feet to grab the comforter from the bottom of the bed. She tossed it over all of them. “Now, we sleep.”


	3. Chapter Three

Sometime later, Kate was awoken by a gentle rocking motion. Disoriented, it took her a moment to realize that she was not at home, nor was she in her own hotel room. Memories of her activities with JJ and Hotch earlier came crashing over her. She waited for shame and guilt to follow, but found they did not. 

A quiet moan drew Kate from her thoughts. She turned her head and realized what it was that had woken her up. Hotch was hovering over JJ, the comforter having fallen from their naked bodies. A small light from outside shined on them. Kate could see the sheen of sweat covering them both as Hotch moved gingerly in and out of her.

Tears came to Kate's eyes as she recognized that they were not having sex, but making love. A love that was forbidden due to their positions in the FBI and her marriage. She understood academically that JJ had feelings for Hotch from their conversation in the bar and she would have been a moron to miss that Hotch reciprocated after the looks between the two when she and JJ showed up at his hotel room. But the depth of their connection took her breath away.

Memorized, Kate was unable to look away. Hotch and JJ's eyes were locked onto the other's. He grazed her face with his fingertips while she stroked his back. They moved little, their bodies pressed tightly together, but Kate had never seen anything so erotic in her life. She only knew they came because Hotch put his head on JJ's shoulder.

Embarrassed to have spied on such an intimate act, despite their previous pursuits, Kate quietly turned away from them, keeping her movements deliberately in such a way so that they would think she remained asleep. Her cheeks were red and she was certain that they glowed in the dark. She held her breath when she heard Hotch whisper.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too,” JJ replied in a watery voice. 

“I don't think I can keep doing this,” Hotch confessed.

“Me, either,” she agreed.

“I-” he paused. “What do you mean?”

“I love you, Hotch. It's killing me not being with you all of the time. I want to leave Will,” JJ told him.

“Really?” Kate was surprised by the vulnerability in his voice. “What about work… and the team?”

“There's a PR firm that's been after me to join them for years. It's better pay and almost no travel,” she said.

“Why haven't you taken it before?”

“Because-” JJ hesitated. “Because I couldn't bare to be away from you, not after the State Department, not after the baby.”  
Kate heard no more words after that, just the smacking and slurping of kisses. Soon, it was followed by the same rocking motion that had woken her. This time, however, it lulled her back to sleep.

 

CMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCMCM

Two months later:

“JJ?”

“Kate!” JJ exclaimed. She hugged the other woman. “How are you?”

Kate smiled, awkwardly. “Okay. How are things with you?”

JJ blushed. “Better than I expected. The new job's fantastic. I love my boss and my co-workers are great. Not as great as the BAU, of course.”

“Of course,” Kate laughed. 

“Will and I are in the process of getting a divorce, amicable, if you can believe it,” JJ rambled on. “Turns out that he had fallen for a cop in another department, but didn't know how to tell me. He was so relieved when I told him that I was I leaving. And the boys are coming to terms with everything. Jack's a little better than Henry, but I think that's understandable.”

Nodding, Kate agreed. “So, what are you doing here? This pharmacy is a little out of your way, isn't it?”

JJ cringed. “I wanted to avoid running into anyone that I knew.” She paused. “It's a little out of your way, too, isn't it?”

“Yeah,” Kate confessed after a moment. “I didn't want to run into anyone either. What are you here for?”

“Pregnancy test,” JJ replied, sheepishly, showing her the pink and white box in her hand. “You?”

Kate took a deep breath. “Same.” She closed her eyes. “Here's the thing: Chris and I tried for years to conceive with no results.”

JJ's eyes widened. “You know that Hotch and I will be here for anything that you need.”

“I'm hoping that, if this is positive, that Hotch will be okay with doing nothing,” Kate explained.

“You're not planning on telling Chris?” JJ touched her shoulder when Kate shook her head. “Then, that's what we'll do.”

Color returned to Kate's face as she breathed a sigh of relief. “How late are you?”

JJ turned crimson. “About two months.”

“Same night?” Kate chortled.

“So, it would appear!” JJ linked her arm through Kate's. “Come on; let's go grab some ice cream around the block and take these tests. I have a feeling that we're going to need to celebrate.”

THE END


End file.
